Ozarcusmapseae's Switch/Transcript
Transcript Intro card (Jingle) Ozarcusmapseae: “ Hey guys- “ Sonic: “ Not now, the mafia just killed the vigilante. “ Ozarcusmapseae: “ Geez, I just said hi. “ Sonic: “ SHUT UP, IM WINNING! “ Ozarcusmapseae: “ But I just got a new game on my N64. “ Quongus: “ N64!? How old are you, 103? Willdawg14: “ What game is it? “ Ozarcusmapseae: “ Superman 64. “ Will: “ Oh, you mean one of the worst video games in history? Yeah, I’ll pass. “ Ozarcusmapseae: “ But- “ Quongus: “ GO AWAY! “ (Ozar walks away) Ozarcusmapseae: “ Wow. My own friends don't even want to play with me. If only I could get them to hang out with me.“ (A lightbulb appears above his head) Ozar: “That's it! “ (Ozar walks to the store) Ozar: “ A Nintendo Switch, perfect! “ Clerk: “ That'll be $300. “ (Ozar throws the money and runs off) Ozarcusmapseae: “ Hey guys! “ Quongus: “ I thought I told you to- OMFG A NINTENDO SWITCH! Willdawg14: “ What!? Those are like, $300! “ Ozarcusmapseae: ” I know. “ Sonic: “ Dude, that's hardcore! “ Ozarcusmapseae: While you guys are playing on X360s and Wii's, I got the next big thing! Quongus: “ I- I- “ Ozar: Now if you’ll excuse me, I'm going to play my switch. Sonic Mania is hot on the market now, Also the new South Park DLC. BYE! “ (Ozar leaves) Sonic: HE HAS SONIC MANIA!? “ Willdawg14: “ HE HAS FROM DUSK TIL CASA BONITA? MY PARENTS WONT LET ME BUY IT! I want to play! “ Sonic: “ But we yelled at him, so now he won’t play with us. “ Quongus: “ That settles it, we're stealing the Switch. “ Willdawg14: “ Why? “ Oreo-And-Eeyore: “ Yeah, that's low , even for you! “ Sonic: “ I mean, I want to play Sonic Mania on the Switch and all, but we said he could come back. “ Quongus: “ No we didn’t! “ Sonic: “ YOU said he could screw off. So on your part, this is hypocritical. “ Quongus: “ Screw you guys, I'm taking it! “ Sonic: “ Okie Dokie! “ Quongus: “ And don't be revealing my role! “ Sonic: “ We won't! “ (Quongus leaves) Sonic: “ GUYS, QUONGUS IS THE WITCH! “ In-game person: “ Lynch him! “ (Meanwhile, at Ozar’s house...) Quongus: “ Okay, I got this. Wait, WTH? The door is unlocked? “ (Quongus walks in) Quongus: “ This was too easy. Wait, why is the Switch on a podium. “ (Quongus steps on a button, trapping him) Quongus: “ WHO? WHAT? WHEN? WHERE? WHY!? HOW?! “ Ozar: “ thought it'd be that easy, didn't you? Quongus: “ WHAT!? NO! Okay, yes, but still. “ Ozar: “ Get out. “ (Robots kick Quongus out) Quongus: “ How in the bloody heck did he get those robots? I'm suspecting something. “ (Back at the treehouse) Quongus: “ I'm back! Wait, WHO LYNCHED ME!? “ (Sonic backs off) Quongus: “ SONIC! “ Sonic: “ Dang it! It's payback for not only stealing a dude's Switch, but also lynching- HEY! “ Quongus: typing “ Sonic is the Medium. “ Sonic: NOOOOOOOOO! “ Quongus: (reading screen) “ The medium is our lord and savior. The curse has been lifted. “ Willdawg14: “ What? “ (Screen says Town wins) Sonic: “ Hah! “ Quongus: “ I'm going to kill myself. We have to get that Switch! “ Sonic: “ Seriously, are you ever gonna let that go. If we keep doing it, we'll get desperate and seperate his blue M&Ms from the orange ones. “ Quongus: “ LOL I don't care. The viewers like it, so screw you! “ Willdawg14: “ Why don’t you just leave him alone? “ Quongus: “ But he has Sonic Mania! And South Park! “ Sonic: “ Sonic Mania sucks! Or is it Sonic Forces I’m thinking of? “ Oreo-And-Eeyore: “ Forces, definetely. “ Will: “ Yeah, and I can live without Casa Bonita, thank you very much. “ Quongus: “ Darn it, I’m on my own again! “ Ozarcusmapseae: (poking head through window) “ Hold up! “ Quongus: “ AHH! ” STH223: ” R.I.P ” Ozarcusmapseae: ” I bought this Switch for me and me only. So you guys can screw the heck off! ” (Ozar exits) Quongus: ”...SEE! He said US, not me! So you guys are W-R-O-N-G! ” Sonic: ” Nah. Most of that was probably directed towards you! MrsWhatever40: ” Sonic's right, stop stealing, Quongus. ” Quongus: “ Your pathetic little verbal insults do no damage! I'm doing what I say and what I do because I think I should act out the things I do before I think about them! ” Willdawg14: ” LOL What? “ Oreo-And-Eeyore: ” Quongus, he kicked your butt ONCE! Doing it again should be easy as pie. ” MatthewSmarter: ” Hey guys, the next game is starting! ” Sonic: ” OH SHOOT! I'm the...THE FRAMER! WHAT!?!? THIS IS BULLSPIT! Willdawg14: ” I think you mean bulls- Sonic: (In demonic voice) ” YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! ” Willdawg14: ” Sonic, you got the worst role! ” (Quongus vanishes) Sonic: ” Huh, where'd he go? ” (The screen cuts to Quongus) Quongus: ” What the h- ” Robots: ” Agreed, we will guard your house for you! ” Quongus: ” This should be easy! ” Robots: ” INTRUDER! ” Quongus: ” ...shoot ” (Quongus returns to the treehouse, bruised) Sonic: ” Looks like you're having a rough day. ” Quongus: ” Shut up. Anyway, who won? ” Willdawg14: ” Arsonist & Survivor. ” Sonicthehedgehog223: ” I was the Survivor! ” Quongus: ” He is going back to the game shop to buy a new game! ” Sonic: ” Which game is it? ” Quongus: ” Sonic Forces. ” Sonic: ” Screw it, then. ” Quongus: ” He's buying something else. ” OAE: ” What is it? ” Quongus: ” 1-2 Switch. ” Willdawg14: ” Yeah, no. ” Quongus: ” WE NEED IT! ” Oreo-And-Eeyore: ” No, we do not! ” Quongus: ” I can ROM hack! ” Willdawg14: ” We don't wanna get arrested! ” Quongus: ” FINE! I'll go over to Peppa's house! At least she has something good! ” Sonic: ” But Peppa has a Nintendo GameCube! That abysmal console that nobody liked. ” Willdawg14: ” You're only saying that because it was better than the Dreamcast! ” Sonic: ” Shut up! ” Quongus: ” So? She has an Atari 2600. It's better than a junky Switch! ” (Quongus exits) Sonic: ” I almost pity him. ” (Cut to Quongus) Quongus: “ Hey Peps, you got a 2600? “ Peppa: “ Yeah, but it's pretty darn bad. “ Quongus: “ I don't care. “ Peppa: “ The only game I have is Pac-Man. “ Quongus: “ Good. (Plays) Oh my god this is horrible! “ Peppa: “ I told you. “ Quongus: “ Shoot! Back to the drawing board! “ ---- Quongus: “ Guys... “ Sonic: “ You still alive man? “ Quongus: “ Yes but- “ Willdawg14: “ Lemme guess. We have to get the Switch. “ Quongus: “ Yeah, but also, who won? “ Sonic: “ The mafia. “ Quongus: “ Which role was I? “ Sonic: “ Bodyguard. “ Quongus: “ Shoot. “ Ozar: (walking in) “ Hey guys! “ Quongus: (annoyed) “ What do you want? “ Ozar: “ I got a new game for my Switch! It was Smash 5! “ Quongus: “ I KNEW I- wait what? “ Willdawg14: “ So they DID confirm Smash for Switch. “ Ozar: “ Yeah. “ Quongus: “ WHY ARE YOU HERE! Get lost, loser! “ Ozar: ” Fine! “ (Ozar leaves) Quongus: “ Hmm... “ (follows him) (The Switch is on the ground) Sonic (future): “ I COME FROM THE FUTURE! “ Quongus: “ Sonic, you're a time lord? “ Sonic: “ Yeah, but just don't pick up the Switch. “ (Sonic vanishes) Quongus: “ Whatever. “ (Steals the Switch) Ten days later Quongus: (exasperated) “ HOW DID THIS HAPPEN!? “ Sonic: “ I TOLD YOU NOT TO STEAL IT! We gotta go back in time. “ A bunch of time fixes later Quongus: “ There! Back to normal! “ Ozar: (panting) “ My Switch is gone! ” (Everyone looks at Quongus) Quongus: It wasn't me this time! I swear! Willdawg14: That's what they all say. Cuff him, MatthewSmarter! MatthewSmarter: On it! (MatthewSmarter carries Quongus away) (Cut to Treehouse) Willdawg14: Sonic, I'm the vigilante. I shot you three times in a row and you still aren't dead. Sonic: The doctor likes healing me. Willdawg14: Okay. (Gets shot in game) WTH, I died. Sonic: XD. Willdawg14: I never win on classic. Sonic: Sucks to be you! (Oreo-And-Eeyore walks in) OAE: Hey gys, How'd the game go? Sonic: Will was dumb enough to tell me his role when I'm the godfather. WIll: Sadly, yeah. But how about you? OAE: I've been working overtime for two weeks now. I got a 30% raise! Will: Good for you! (A place nearby explodes OAE: Okay, I gotta go now. (Oreo-And-Eeyore leaves) Will: That sounded like MatthewSmarter's apartment! Sonic: Oh shoot! We gotta save them. Will: And to a lesser extent, Quongus. Category:Transcripts